Perfect Place to Hide
by CommanderTitanInquisitor
Summary: Cullen had hoped for a quiet afternoon to finish the mountain of paperwork sitting in a precarious pile on his desk. Unfortunately, things never entirely go to plan when Evelyn Trevelyan is involved…


The wooden door to Cullen's tower office crashed open, and the Inquisitor ran inside.

She sprinted across the room and gasped, "Hide me!"

"What-?" Cullen began in confusion as Evelyn grabbed the front of his cloak.

"Long story short, I have a very angry pair of women on my tail. I need to hide. Help me!"

"Who?" Cullen asked, "and what did you do?".

The Inquisitor wasted no time in hastily explaining her predicament, "Cassandra and Josephine. Sera and I-"

Cullen shook his head, "Sera was involved? They're going to kill you."

Scooting under his desk, Evelyn wailed, "You don't need to rub it in! Maker, I can't use the desk. There's no way they won't check there." Her eyes scanned the room as she looked for somewhere else to conceal herself before her advisors found her. "Can I hide in your cupboard?"

She didn't wait for an answer. Cullen stood there in confused shock as the famed Herald of Andraste tried and failed to climb up his shelves. For a moment it looked like she would succeed, but then her feet slipped, and she ended up crashing back to the floor with an almighty thud. He hid a small snort as a book fell off and landed on her, earning itself a swift journey across the room as she flung it away from her. She scrambled back to her feet, muttering, "Ugh, that's not going to work either. Cullen! You'll be writing me a eulogy if you don't help me _right now!_ "

Scanning the room, Cullen held his arms up helplessly. "I didn't really furnish the room with hiding places as a priority…"

"Andraste, the largest thing in this room is that cloak of yours! Don't you have…"

She trailed off. Cullen didn't like the look of the smile that was spreading across her face.

"Definitely not."

"Just look busy and don't face the door! They'll never guess!"

"You can't be serious!"

"Cullen!"

Evelyn spun him around and pushed him towards his bookcase with a great deal of haste. Then, ignoring his protests, she wrapped her arms around him and vanished under the thick leather of his cloak. Not a moment too soon either, as next thing he knew, Cassandra had stomped into the room with a thunderous expression on her face. Cullen looked up and almost choked.

Both Josephine and Cassandra were soaked to the skin.

"Ladies, did you get caught in the rain?"

"Have you seen the Inquisitor, Cullen?" Cassandra asked through gritted teeth. Cullen felt Evelyn press a little closer to him, letting out a barely audible snort of amusement. Cullen coughed to cover up the noise before turning his attention back to the furious warrior.  
"Last I saw her, she was heading for the tower. It wouldn't surprise me if she's meeting with Solas again to discuss… well, I think it's to do with the rifts in the Hinterlands. The specifics tend to fly right over my head."

Scowling, Cassandra thanked him and left. Josephine hovered for a moment, looking around the room.

"Are you _sure_ you haven't seen her, Commander?" She asked slowly.

Cullen's heart jumped, but he kept a neutral expression and nodded. "I haven't spoken to her since the last war council. What has she done now? Upset some important Orlesian noble? Left the stable doors open again?"

"Just a little incident involving a bucket, Commander." Josephine said disparagingly. "I must pursue Cassandra. Good luck with the paperwork."

"I shall need it." He said. She began to leave. Cullen, thinking quickly, added, "Oh, Lady Montilyet, could you tell the Inquisitor I would appreciate a moment of her time when she can spare it? We have troops in the Hinterlands that would be better utilised if deployed in the Emprise du Lion instead, to help with the protection of the villagers."

Nodding thoughtfully, Josephine made a quick note on her parchment. "I will pass the message along. Another time, Commander."

Seemingly satisfied, she left. Cullen waited until her footsteps had faded to silence before pulling his cloak aside and looking down at the woman clinging to his front.

"Are you going to come out of there now?"

"Nope. Comfortable."

He sighed.

Neither of them heard Cassandra until she was right behind them. She'd returned silently, and as soon as he heard her voice, Cullen froze. He should have known she would see through his lie, "Commander! Inquisitor!" She snarled.

Evelyn jumped away from him, coming face to face with the angry Seeker. Taking one look at Cassandra, she grabbed Cullen's hand. " _Run!_ "

* * *

"Hey, Bull, what would you say if I told you Cassandra was chasing the Inquisitor and Cullen across the battlements shouting profanities?"

"Just when I thought things were getting dull…"

* * *

 **A/N: Please leave me a note to say what you think!**


End file.
